Do we disagree on the problem? Or the solution to the problem?
It’s easy to confuse the two. And, during contentious discussions, it’s easy to transition to thinking the disagreement is the problem, when it’s actually the solution.
The trick is to correctly identify and keep focus on which is the disagreement.
If you disagree on the solution, remind each other that you do have common ground on the problem and then explore each story.
If you disagree on the problem, explore each story as to how each of you came to the conclusion about what the problem is.